The Green Suicide Bomber

Finally! A suicide bomber who actually cares about the future of the planet! Most suicide bombers could care less about being green, but this selfless being has finally woken up to see the plight of our Mother Earth!

"A suicide bomber riding a bicycle Monday killed at least 28 Iraqi police at an Iraqi police base in Baquba, the U.S. military said."

Gone, my friends, are the days of the gas-guzzling 'car-bomber' style suicide explosion attacks on our humble troops and sensitive environment; this next-generation, consciously-evolved trend of the bike-bomber can only mean good things for the future of sustainable warfare.

It seems both sides of the war seem to agree, from green nuclear waste to the army going green, its easy to say our future will be as bright as the flash a mushroom cloud...

mIe

Drowning in Easy Green

If I see one more advert, commercial, magazine, newsletter, or blog dedicated to "Going Green", I'm going to vomit... and it will certainly be more colors than green, although that spinach was tasty last night. Last I checked, there were more colors in nature besides green--the number might even be infinite.

Why are we so fixated on Going Green, anyhow? (Reductionist alert!) The same reason we Americans do anything else: because we are promised it is "easy" to do so. And what more could we ever want out of life than the 'easy' way out? Nothing rewards MY EGO quite like the quick and easy; after all my ego is a series of the quick and easy all balled up into one gluttonous, ever-expanding glob of misinformation. We live in The Culture of Easy (a theme I'll be coming back to more in the future), where speed is the ultimate means to an end... and End which may come sooner than we all think. Or perhaps has already come?

Just buy some carbon credits to offset that massive rock tour! Plant a tree, save a life! Switch to LED bulbs and viola! You're green!

Clearly, use of "Green" seems to hearken back to an older usage of 'green', a synonym of 'naive' or 'new to a way of thinking.' To think that the task at hand, if there is even any point to said task, will be easy... well... You may want to do a bit more research before painting the world one color...

Then again, its just MY EGO talking...

mIe